You should be as efficient as possible when looking for a hook up on a sex dating site. It’s nice to flirt and bat messages back and forth, but at a certain point you’re just wasting time. If the goal is to get laid you need to identify the best possible casual sex partners in the mutual pursuit of sexual pleasure.


Don’t be afraid to ask questions. So many guys fall flat on their faces in the hook up game because they’re eternally passive or they don’t want to insult the girl. Be comforted in the knowledge that any of our recommended sites have tens of thousands of women in any given city so if you put one off there will be lots more to hook up with. This isn’t about meeting the love of your life or establishing a long term relationship. It’s about having sex and if you’re looking for something else you’re on the wrong site. Ask questions and do so almost immediately after first contact. If she’s not willing to answer simple questions then she’s not looking to hook up and you can move on. If she’s insulted then she’s not the girl for you.

The key to a good sex dating experience is knowing what the answers mean. There are certain red flags you should be on the lookout for and you’ll find them below. Remember that you’re unlikely to see the exact answers I’ve come up with so pay attention to the spirit of the answer.

You: What are you hoping to find on this site?
Good answer: I want to find the sex life that I deserve. I’ve been seriously lacking in good orgasms lately and I need a man that knows how to get me off.
Bad answer: Well, I’m all about having fun. I really just want to meet cool people and have fun.

Why it’s bad: The girl just looking to have fun is the girl that doesn’t know what she wants. She hasn’t thought about it at all. Maybe she joined as a good, maybe she wants to have sex but would take some serious coaxing. Either way it’s not worth it.

You: Are you in a relationship
Good answer: I’m single, free, and looking to have some fun.
Bad answer: My boyfriend cheated on my and I want to get back at him.î Also: I kind of have a boyfriend but we’re not really serious. I’m keeping my options open.

Why it’s bad: Revenge sex is fun but too often it ends disastrously for you as the boyfriend gets angry and wants to hurt you. The girl with a boyfriend she’s not all that serious about can still end up getting your ass beaten if he finds out you’ve been sleeping with her.

You: What kind of guy turns you on?
Good answer: More than anything I want a guy that knows how to please a woman. A good body is nice but looks aren’t hugely important. If he can make me laugh that’s a plus.
Bad answer: I’m totally into ripped abs and big arms. Bad boy types make me weak in the knees.

Why it’s bad:
Girls into strictly physical characteristics of a guy typically aren’t in touch with what makes them orgasm or don’t do it all that often. Anyone into bad boys is usually not a girl you want to mess with since the mental chaos can be off the charts.

You: When are you available?
Good answer: I’m usually free anytime after work and on weekends so let me know what works for you.
Bad answer: My ex sees the kids every other weekend so I’m free then. Sometimes I have to work those weekends though. Being a single mom can be expensive. Plus, sometimes I have to take care of my elderly mom.

Why it’s bad:
It’s nice that she’s a single mom and taking care of her mother too, but that’s a nightmare life you don’t want to get involved in. There’s too much potential emotional trauma to make a hook up worth it.