Everyone knows, you don’t talk about ex’s in a new relationship. It’s a given. There are certain circumstances, however, when it is appropriate and even necessary but for the most part, that subject is off limits. After all, who likes the thought of your significant other being with someone else? Much less, in a serious, long-term relationship. No fun. The same goes for her. Hearing about how you and your ex spent every Christmas together floating mini marshmallows in your Champagne is not amusing and it certainly isn’t charming. Unfortunately, as hard as we try to avoid it, some information leaks out occasionally and should be expected too. An old relationship may be over but it was still a significant amount of your life which you now share every aspect of with someone new. Since we are privy to these occasional leaks of information we may as well use them to our advantage. There are a few things we can learn from her ex.
 
Studies have shown that human being search for their mates based on their previous experiences. Even though it doesn’t seem like it, we do learn from our sexual mistakes, or we are supposed to. Each person we have been involved with leaves a mark on our psyche and it influences further mate choices. There are things her ex did that lead her to you and things that you should not repeat under any circumstances. The only way to accomplish that is to learn from her past relationships as well as yours. Learning from her past keep you from becoming part of it.
 

 
Find out who she lost her virginity to and how. If you can get that story out of her it will tell you a lot about her. If her first experience was negative, it sets her up for a lifetime struggle against feelings of sexual dissatisfaction, inadequacy and self-confidence. Knowing that she may face these issues, you can tailor your approach and interactions to her. A smooth, subtle approach is best to begin with these ladies. Continual reassurance of her beauty and your interest is often necessary for a span of time. You will have to teach her to embrace the future and not fear the past.
 
Another important nugget of ex information you can glean from your girl is what they fought about most. There was some issue that couldn’t be surpassed, some obstacle they could not get around. There always is in a broken relationship. It was important enough to disintegrate their relationship so you want to know what it is and avoid it. It may have been that he spends Sunday nights with the guys, hates her cat or thinks her brother is a douche. Whatever the issue was, you want to be as compliant as possible about it. If at all possible, be accepting and encouraging as well.
 
Ask what her biggest regret is. Research shows that women place a high value on family and relationships and therefore, their biggest regrets are often relationship choices. Uncovering her biggest regret show what she values and needs most in her life. Once you figure out her deepest regret, you can do what you can to ensure she doesn’t have to make any similar choices in the future within your relationship.
 
Another big predictor of future behavior is infidelity. Did she cheat on her ex? Did he cheat on her? The answers to those questions can be a telling factor on her mindset as well as her behavior patterns. Research shows that one in five women have been in an extramarital affair and most site the reason as sexual boredom with their spouses. If she has been involved in a previous relationship like this, the effects can be far reaching and damaging, according to research.
 
Even though it is a difficult subject to breach, and hearing his name makes you want to breathe fire, there are things you can learn from her ex and her past relationships. Remember to listen for those topics and pick the information you need from the pile. Make it useful to yourself by applying the opposite techniques and strategies to counteract the damage. It isn’t an easy task but there are ways to accomplish it. There is some truth to the old adage that you can learn from the mistakes of others. The trick is to be smart enough to know when the opportunity arises and quick enough to use it to you advantage.