Thanks to out buddy’s sexual horror stories and pop culture movies like When Harry Met Sally (Watch The Trailer), every guy is always worried now whether or not she’s “faking it.” Even if a guy says he’s confident that she is climaxing every time and isn’t worried, a small part of him wonders if his girlfriend is just a fantastic actress and trying to spare his feelings. Wouldn’t it be great if you could know, and I mean really know, if she is actually having an orgasm?

Scientists study everything that even seems remotely cool, so obviously there is a broad field of sexual research that says there are certain physiological signs that everyone can see when someone has an orgasm. His or her pupils will dilate, breathing begins to quicken and then get cut short right before the moment of climax, skin gets very red and flushed, and usually there is even ejaculation (more obvious for men than women). These studies, however, have been conducted in laboratory settings on small groups of participants, and don’t accurately convey how diverse each person is, how rough or passionate the sex is, if they are trying to keep themselves quiet or screaming themselves hoarse, or if your girlfriend maybe just orgasms with little to know sign at all. Using scientific definitions to describe every person is difficult, and most of the details in the research descriptions of orgasm can be faked by your girlfriend who wasn’t quite there, but thinks you tried very hard and deserved an ego boost.
 

Not All Women Are The Same

The honest truth is that all women are different when it comes to how obviously they are reaching climax, and it can entirely depend on the way she got there too. Some women are just loud and very obvious when they’re orgasming, through no fault of their own. In long relationships, you can often pick up on little cues like how she bites her lip and turns her head, or that she tenses up her entire upper body, or that she moans and screams to loud that the cops are called. Again. Other women though are extremely subtle about when they orgasm and you may not even notice it’s happening until it’s over. Some orgasms are just less intense than others depending on the sex. Other times, like if you’re just slowly teasing her over a long period of time, it’ll be an extremely powerful (and likely extremely noticeable) orgasm.
 

Some Orgasm Clues Are Universal

If you’re worried that your girl is not reaching climax at all, or that she is faking an intense orgasm when she was really nowhere close, there are a couple physical cues that happen to almost all women when they’re close to reaching orgasm that she won’t even be thinking about or able to fake. Orgasm tends to make our bodies rigid as our muscles tense up against the rush of brain chemical stuff (I’m not a neuroscientist). So, there are ways you can gauge how her body is tensing as you have sex and figure out how close she is to finishing. And if she is focusing hard enough on faking these rhythmic tense-release moments to fool you, then the sex must be so boring that you’re lucky she is even trying to fake it at all.
 

Its All In The Touch

If you are curious how close she is to climax and happen to have a hand free during sex, grab her hand and let her squeeze as she enjoys. Click Here To learn how long the average woman takes to climax. The body rhythmically tenses faster and faster as she gets closer, and you’ll be able to feel this by letting her squeeze your hand involuntarily each time she tenses up. If she isn’t tensing up at all, or very infrequently, she isn’t close yet. It doesn’t mean she isn’t enjoying the sex! Just that she’s in that sweet spot where it feels good, but not building up to the climax yet. Once she gets close, you’ll be able to feel how tense her hand gets. It’ll basically be a vice grip as she’s coming, and there is no way you can miss it. You don’t need to hold her hand the entire time, but can just do this to subtly gauge where she’s at and establish intimacy during sex.

If you are not in any positions to get a hand free or hold hers while you guys destroy your sheets, you can feel this same rhythmic tensing and relaxing in her vagina (and anus if you’re into that sort of thing) through your penis. This is often tougher for men to recognize since you’re trying to enjoy yourself at the same time, so it may require a little practice to notice. Once you learn how to feel it, though, then you can use this to pace yourself with her and try to build up and finish at the same time. Honestly, is there anything better than that?