It’s happened to the best of us. You’re going out with friends, you’re meeting women, and maybe even ending the night with them. But then you notice something is different. It didn’t happen all it once, but suddenly you’re off your game. Jokes aren’t landing right, women aren’t responding to you, and even your most reliable plays are just making everyone around you uncomfortable. You look up at the bartender and he’s chuckling at your best attempt to get this girl to talk to you. Embarrassed, you decide not to tip him the next time he makes you a drink. Petty? Yes. But hey, you need to soothe your ego, right? Not that I’m speaking from experience….

Some of us are purely single men in the hookup scene or relationship men who left it behind. – Take the test: 27 signs your not the relationship type – Most of us, however, spend years in the hookup scene before we find a good relationship. Until that point, though, you need to learn to date and how to improve when you feel like your game is getting stale. Once the bartender is laughing at you, it’s time to take a good, hard look at yourself and pinpoint where you need improvement. For that brave, introspective man, here are 5 sure signs your hookup game needs an upgrade.
 

5. You only have one play in the playbook, and it’s costing you.

Maybe you’re the guy at the bar who buys expensive drinks for every single girl you find. That’s great if it’s working. Use that play too much, however, and you will quickly see that many women are unimpressed by the size of your wallet, especially if that’s all you have going for you. Buying a woman a drink is, admittedly, cliché. However, it works well for meeting that girl with the cute smile over there (don’t look right at her! C’mon man, be cool). It’s classy and polite, but more importantly it is a fantastic ice-breaker. Buy her a drink, not twelve drinks, and show that judgmental bartender that this isn’t your first rodeo. The hookup scene is a chess tournament, so don’t get stuck only using your pawns.

4. You’re always the hunter and never being hunted.

It isn’t a bad thing to pursue a woman who interests you. For some of us, the best part of the hookup scene is the hunt. If you watch any nature documentaries though, you’ll notice that even lions fail more often than they succeed. If you put yourself in a position to catch a woman’s interest long before you talk to her, then the odds of your night ending well increase dramatically. This is where we get tough on ourselves, fellas. Took a good look in the mirror, and ask yourself, “Should I update my style a little? Can I stand out more?” You don’t need to be obnoxious, but attracting a little bit of attention to yourself while around your friends will bring more women to you than you can find on your own.
 

3. You have no plans this weekend, and not by choice.

Flying solo on a Saturday night is only okay if that’s what you want to do, not because you don’t have any other options and you’ve resigned yourself to a lonely slump. If you haven’t met anyone new in a while, call up your buddies and hit a bar. If necessary, find a quiet one at first and ease back into the dating scene. Remind yourself why leaving the couch is a good thing. Having a weekend at home watching Netflix in your boxers is great to recharge the batteries once in a while, but make sure it doesn’t become a habit.
 

2. You settle for women that don’t really interest you.

Okay. This is a safe place, and no one is judging you if you decide to go home with any woman you find just because you need a release. However, it’s important to remind yourself how much better your night ends when you spend it with someone with whom you share a mutual attraction. This one is a no-brainer, guys. If you find yourself settling more often for a girl that wants you but does little to interest you, then maybe you should ask yourself, “What can I do to get the women I am interested in to like me?”
 

1. You have forgotten the real goal of the dating/hookup scene.

Many of us in the hookup scene fall into a specific type of slump. It isn’t a slump where you never seal the deal. Instead, you may fall into a routine where you go out solely to bring home a girl, any girl, with little thought about who or why. Having this single-minded outlook can cause even the best of us to become bored with going out, and our game suffers. The most important thing to keep in mind when you find yourself in the hookup scene is this: remember what it’s all about. Remind yourself how much better the night is when you spend it with your buddies at a place you truly enjoy. Find women you are truly comfortable around and have fun. Learn to thrive in your own skin and to enjoy showing off your best qualities. Try new experiences with new people at new places. You may just find that the only part of your game that needed upgrading was your attitude! (Looking at you, smug bartender).